It had been a wet Mumbai monsoon day but unlike the times before, Sion was
not completely under water yet. However, reports of water logging around the
city were coming in. Sri Ram
travels was having a slow day. “Who in his right mind
would want to travel in this weather?” I mused while alternating between
watching the hands of a clock seemed to be paused at 5:30 and the rain pouring
outside.
My reverie was broken with the door being opened. In stepped in this completely wet foreigner, His
wet clothes were sticking to his body. He gave me an apologetic smile, put down
his umbrella near the door and walked towards my desk wiping his wet blond hair
off his face.
“Hi, Can
I get a seat on the 6 p.m. bus to Rameshwaram?” he asked.
“Sir,
there is no 6 p.m. bus, Today’s bus to Rameshwaram has already left at 5:10” I
replied conscious of my government schooled English.
“What!”
He exclaimed and pulled out his iPhone and showed it to me saying “Look, your
website says that there is a bus at 6p.m.”
I apologetically
informed him “Sir, the site does not get updated regularly. It’s been almost a
month since the timing was changed.”
“I can’t
believe this. Is there any way for me to get to Rameshwaram today?”
“Sir, all
buses for the day have left. We have a bus leaving tomorrow morning at 11 a.m.”
I replied to him wondering why this foreigner would be so desperate to travel
to Rameshwaram. The guy didn’t look like a typical tourist in any way.
“11a.m
only?” he asked and I nodded in reply. Looking disappointed he started fiddling
around with his iPhone. He then looked up at me and said “O.K, can I have the
ticket for the bus that leaves tomorrow at 11 a.m.”
Glancing
at the next day’s listing on my screen, I replied “Yes Sir, may I know your
name, please?”
“Blake
Lawson”
I blink
at him unable to comprehend his name through his accent. He suppressed a smile
and says “Blake, B.L.A.K.E. Lawson”
Entering his
name I told him “Sir that would be Rs. 1400”
“Here
take my card. I hope it’s a window seat.”
“Yes sir,
it’s a window seat.” I replied while taking the card and swiping it. “The bus
is new and you should have a comfortable trip.” I added while handing him the
slip to be signed.
He smiled
while returning the slip after signing it and inquired “I can board the bus
from here itself, right?”
“Yes Sir,
you can collect the boarding pass from the counter tomorrow. Please do try to
come here by 10:45, we don’t keep the bus waiting for long.”
“Don’t
worry! I will be here long before that, Thank-you” he said and took the ticket
from me. Holding the door open as he was stepping out he looked back and asked
me “Ma’am, May I know your name?”
“Chandini”
I replied.
Two days later,
in the afternoon of a yet another rain socked day. I answered the ringing office
phone with the standard greeting like a trained parrot “Hello, Sri Ram travels,
Chandini Speaking”.
“Hi
Chandini, I hope you remember me, this is Blake. I booked a ticket from you a
two days back.” came an accented voice from the other end.
“Yes Sir,
you were going to Rameshwaram. Is there anything wrong?”
“I hope
you can help me Chandini, I am in Rameshwaram and find myself in another
dilemma. I need to travel to Tirupathi, but I am having trouble communicating
with the people here. Could you please help me?” His voice was filled with
desperation.
Once
again I found myself wondering why this foreigner is doing a pilgrimage of the
temple. I checked my computer and responded “Yes Sir, we do have buses from
Rameshwaram to Triupathi. In fact, there is one leaving today evening at 3p.m.
Do you want me to book it for you?”
“Yes
please, Can you charge it to card?” he asked sounding relieved.
“Sorry Sir,
I can’t do that. But I can save the seat. You can approach our local centre,
pay the cash and take the ticket.”
“That’s really
helpful, can you message me the address?” he said and gave me his mobile
number. I messaged him the address from my cell phone.
Ping!!
Rang my cells message tone. “Thanks for the help” said the message coming from
Blake’s number. “You are welcome, it was no trouble. It’s my job” I replied
back.
Thus
started our chats on the phone. I asked him why he was on this pilgrimage and he
told me his story about how he had been a high-flying career banker from New
York. With the economic depression of 2008 the meaty days of corporate banking came
to an end. The long hours he was forced to put in to secure his job affected
his personal life. Until one day he found out that his wife had been cheating
on him. Being childless the divorce was quick and fast. The failure of his
marriage along with the added stress of his job Blake found himself questioning
his entire lifestyle. Seeking to discover himself and purpose of life he quit
his job and with the savings decided to travel. He came down to India because
of the rich cultural and spiritual history of India had always fascinated him. He
had already visited majority of temples in North India. That day he was in
Mumbai after his visit to Osho Ashram in Pune. He was continuing his journey of
self discovery by travelling through South India.
I kept in
touch with him as he crisscrossed around South India visiting various temples.
Jagannath temple, Padmanabhaswamy Temple, Meenakshi temple and many more some
of whose names I had never even heard of. We were always connected, either
through chat or through our calls. He kept me updated on his journey. In a way
I was discovering India thorough him, He gave me more information on India than
I ever had living here in the country. His stories excited me and I dreamed of
leaving my job and travelling with him throughout India.
In turn, I
told him about my current job, my financial troubles, how I had struggled to complete
my education and find a decent job. Through our conversations, I found a person
to share my thoughts and feelings with. I found myself getting attached to this
stranger, who I still pictured as we had first met, Wet. He was always on my mind;
my days started with his message and ended listening to his voice whilst sharing
our experiences of the day. I found myself worrying about him, a stranger I had
only met once. His stories and experience of travelling about the country enchanted
me. The idea of a person finding himself by travelling across a unknown land sounded
very adventurous to me, more so because he was doing it with no knowledge of
the local language. I could not even begin to dream of doing something like
that.
“Going to
Shabrimala, Then off to Guruvayoor” came his message.
I had
always wanted to visit Guruvayur. One of the most well know Krishna Temples in
Kerala, my belief in the diety strengthened my fascination with this temple.
“I am so jealous,
wish I too could visit Guruvayur” I replied while listening to Preeti recant
her trip to Turkey over a coffee at CCD.
Preeti,
my best friend, we couldn't be more apart. We were friends from kindergarten.
But I was always envious of Preeti, her dresses, the way she carried herself, her
confidence among guys and her go get it attitude. My mother used to work as an
assistant for Preeti’s Mother. Sangeeta aunty, Preeti’s mom had sponsored a
major part of my education.
My phone again,
this time Preeti snatched the phone out of my hand. Blake had replied asking me
to join him in Kerala. She saw the entire message chain. It didn’t take me long
to update her about Blake, our conversations and our unusual relationship.
Preeti was convinced that I had to go join Blake in Kerala. Initially I was
reluctant, but she persuaded me. I had some savings accumulated and hadn’t
taken leave in a while. I had never travelled so far from Mumbai nor had ever spent
time alone with a guy. But I felt different with Blake. Further, this was an
opportunity for me to create stories of my own.
It was
pouring when the train entered Ernakulum station. Blake was standing on the
platform waiting for me. His eyes lit up as he saw me get down. Walking up to
me he immediately hugged me. It was awkward; this was the first time I was being
hugged by a guy. Blake seemed to have lost some weight since that day he had
entered drenched into my shop. The thought that I have always only seen him wet
got a smile on my face.
We took a
bus from Cochin to Guruvayoor. It felt so romantic; The rains, the road snaking
through the canopy formed by the trees, It felt like a green paradise. At the
end of a 3 hour bus ride, I found myself being gently awakened by him as the
bus pulled into the bus stand. I got up
with a jerk; he smiled at me reassuringly and informed me that we had reached.
I couldn’t believe that I slept with my head on his shoulder.
We
checked ourselves into a hotel, 2 different rooms mind you after all I am still
a good Indian girl. We had a delicious meal at a restaurant nearby. Memory of
what we ate is fuzzy but I remember laughing hard at his many experiences in
the country. We were getting odd looks from the locals; they might have been
wondering what a dark skinned Indian is doing with this fair blonde foreigner.
Next day
we visited the temple, after a long wait in the line we got darshan. To enter Blake
had to wear ‘mundu’ without a shirt. Oh man! He looked so hot. When I mentioned
that to him he blushed, making him look all the more gorgeous. We had previously
decided that we would roam Kerala after visiting the temple and thus my
weeklong vacation in Kerala started.
It was
like a dream world, roaming a beautiful land with a handsome guy. The Kovollam
Beach, Munnar, Thekady etc. I found myself roaming with my hand in his more
often than not. The Indian in me felt guilty; romance and boy-friends was what
I had seen in movies. I had never considered myself being in a relationship
before marriage. From when I remember, I had always focused on studies aiming to
get a job so some burden could be taken off my parents. I wonder what Appa
would have thought seeing me roaming with a guy.
On the
evening before my return to Mumbai we checked into a houseboat at Alleppey. The
rains had let up on the day. The water was calm, we were sitting on the deck watching
the stars when he leaned in and kissed me. It felt so right. I kissed him back;
his hands were running all over me. He picked me up and took me into the boat.
Next
morning I woke up to find him smiling at me, I smiled right back. The world
felt perfect. I wanted to pause the world then and there. But my vacation was
over and it was time to go back. It was difficult to say leave him at the
station. During the entire train journey back he and the night were my only thoughts.
←---X---→
“Blake, I
am late” I messaged him. Right then my cell rang, it was him. I picked up
“What?
You are late? Are you sure?” came his voice sounding panicky.
This was
not what I wanted to hear. “Of course I am sure. It’s been a week, and I am
never late.” I replied feeling irritated. “I will visit the doctor today to be
sure.”
“Chandini,
a child was not in my plan when I came to India, but I will support you.” came
his voice very slowly over the phone as if trying to make himself clear.
I felt
myself getting more irritated with him and said “Blake, I got to get ready for
office” and cut the phone even before he could say bye.
It was early
in the 2nd trimester when suddenly Blake’s phones & SMS stopped. It was a surprise;
Blake even though not present was always supportive. My parents & extended
family were all against me; they wanted me to abort the baby and were trying to
force me into marriage. Blake’s voice on the phone was a source of strength.
When it stopped suddenly I felt lost.
←---X---→
It was
yet another wet Mumbai monsoon day; Anjali was sleeping in her little bed.
Suddenly the door flew open and in came this wet foreigner. “Chandini” he
called out, seeing him again, I was stunted into silence. “I had searched so
much for you, my cell was stolen and I didn’t have your number written
anywhere. I went to your old office and they told me you had quit, they didn’t
know any way to contact you.”
He said
walking toward me with a relieved smile on his face. I was still stocked, I had
dreamed this reunion how many times, yet now that he was in front of me I found
myself with conflicting emotions.
Seeing me
not responding, he looked around spotted Anjali and said “It that she?” He
walked toward her and said “She is as beautiful as you.” Looking toward me,
Blake said “Chandini, I am sorry I was not there for you. Let me make it up;
Marry Me!”
Hearing
those words all the troubles I had during last few months came running to me.
How I was kicked out of home, No support of anyone except Preeti, the disgusted
looks given to me by my land lady, being called a whore by the riffraff’s of
the society. Looking at his face I felt a variety of emotions run though me.
The anger and frustration felt at the lack of replies to my desperate messages,
the loneliness I felt during nights spend alone, the filthy looks given to me
by the doctors and nurses at the hospital. My hands caressed the scar on my
stomach while I heard myself tell Blake “NO!”